God kept leading me back to Isaiah 43:19, "Behold, I am doing a new thing; now it springs forth, do you not perceive it? I will make a way in the wilderness and rivers in the desert." Honestly, I questioned why God would give me this verse. What new thing could He possibly do? Did this mean a new baby? I didn't want another baby; I wanted Isabella. I could see no option that would allow her to stay in our home. But God kept leading me back to this verse, so I reluctantly waited to see what He would do. What river could He possibly make in my desert?
I remember once I gave up and told God that I would trust Him, I felt complete peace. My situation hadn't changed at all, but He had been so clear in His word that He was doing something just trust Him, that I knew that was the choice I had to make. So early on Wednesday morning, January 8th, I left my quiet time feeling a peace I couldn't understand because I was trusting a plan I couldn't even see or comprehend.
About two hours later, as we were rushing out the door to drop off one of the kids at preschool, my cell phone rang. I saw on the caller ID that it was Isabella's CPS caseworker. I answered it expecting a quick reminder about the unsupervised visit coming up the following day. I was mistaken. She was calling to tell me that Isabella's biological father had passed away. Even as I type this six months later, I still feel shocked. I remember falling to my knees in tears because I was so overwhelmed with shock, but yet I was also overwhelmed by amazement that this is what God meant.
I trust in a God who controls the universe. He controls life and death. He knows the days of my life and has them numbered. He knew the day of this man's death. He knew this would happen and that would eventually lead us to this past week- June 19th. Adoption day. Isabella Faith is now our forever daughter. God has brought more closure to our situation because we have since found out that her father had shared with a family member that if he wasn't able to parent her that his wish was for her to stay with us. We also will be able to share with her how he had worked so hard to get her back and had done everything he needed to in order to bring that about. We also are so thankful that Isabella had not yet been placed in his home or that this did not happen on the day of her visit.
As I was reading again in Isaiah 43 on Thursday morning before her adoption, I came to verse 21, "that they might declare my praise." That is why God brought us on this journey. He wanted me to trust Him even when I couldn't see the road in front of me. He wanted me to trust Him in the desert so that I could now stand on the mountain and declare His praise.
Introducing Isabella
