Ponder

Over the summer, Kailee and Benjamin participated in a summer creative arts camp at church.  They had a blast being a part of a musical titled "The Real King and I."  It was a really neat story about the search for the real king using different songs from kingly musicals.  Kailee was part of the Oz Court that sang and danced to "One Short Day" from "Wicked," and Benjamin was the Prince of Siam in the "March of the Siamese Children" from "The King and I."

During one of the first rehearsals, I was sitting in the back holding our little foster baby.  He was really little and just about the right size for a baby Jesus.  You see the play ends at the manger because the real King is the one who you would least expect, born in a stable, not a grand palace.  This closing scene needed a real baby, not just a doll, and we were asked if our little "B" would be able to do play the role.  We were happy to help out (also didn't hurt that they told us we could sit at the front during the show- you should see the line parents wait in to get a seat).

It was the first time that I saw them rehearse the scene, that I knew I was going to have a hard time keeping it together.  Tears just kept welling up and during the various rehearsals I began to think about why this was so moving to me.  And then I thought about Mary, mother of baby Jesus, and how the Bible says she "pondered these things in her heart."  I got it.  I understood how she must be amazed at this baby that God brought into their lives.  She must have wondered at God's plan and what He was going to do with the life of His Son.  I too wonder at this beautiful baby that God has brought into our home and I wonder what God's plan for him is.  At the time of the show, we really had no idea, but now it is looking like he might leave.  And again I am reminded that fostering is HARD.

As foster families, we know that the children we care for are not ours, but yet in some since they are because we give them all of ourselves.  We don't know what God has planned for them.  How long will they be in our home?  Will this one be one we adopt?   I pondered these things as I saw a sweet baby portraying baby Jesus.  I still ponder them as I hold him and sing to him and he smiles back.  Just as Mary did not know all the details of God's plan for Jesus, she was faithful to be his mother for the time that God allowed.  I will do the same, trusting God's plan for sweet baby "B" because God's plan for Jesus was the most perfectly wonderful plan for the world.   How could I not trust Him with this baby as well.