When the boys first came to our home, it was clear from the questions they were asking that they had been mistreated in various ways. I wasn't exactly sure what the adults in their past had told them, but I was nearly certain they had been lied to in the past. So right off the bat, we explained to them that we would not hit them when they were in trouble, which was their primary concern, and I also assured them that I would not lie to them. I wanted them to be able to trust what I told them.
Needless to say, I have worked really hard over the past six months not to lie to them. I have gone out of my way to keep my word to them no matter how insignificant it might seem. On several occasions I have assured them, as most parents do, that monsters are not real. They are not hiding under the bed or in the closet, and there aren't any monsters hidden anywhere else in our home. It never occurred to me to answer their "what if" questions any other way.
As time has passed, and we have learned more about what they have endured, it has dawned on me that I have lied to them. There are monsters. The boys lived with a monster for a long time. They suffered at the hands of this monster. I wonder what they thought when I originally had told them that there were no monsters. I bet they thought I had no idea what I was talking about. And they are right. I cannot fathom the pain they have gone through. I cannot understand what their minds must relive some nights while they toss and turn fitfully in their sleep. I cannot foresee the amount of time it will take for them to fully comprehend, if ever, that they did not do anything to deserve this treatment. It had nothing to do with them. It had everything to do with the monster.
Often the boys will refer to this person as a monster. They have drawn pictures of the monster. They have dreams that they kill the monster with their swords. Their play therapist was pointing out that it's good for them to have this victory in their dreams. It shows they feel bigger and stronger than the monster now. I hope they continue to feel this way, but even if there are days that they don't, I continue to trust that God will reveal to them that through Him they are more than conquerors even over the monster that I now know is real.
Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or danger, or sword?... No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through Him who loved us. Romans 8:35,37
